Jesus' Little Sunbeam

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam to shine for him each day.
And in every way try to please Him, at home at school at play.
A sunbeam, a sunbeam. Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.
A sunbeam a sunbeam. One day I'll be a sunbeam for Him.

Today was Owen's first day of Primary. I think I was more nervous for him and than he was for himself. I carried Howie with me and took Owen into the Primary room - along with what seemed like the rest of the entire ward - so he could find his class. (Our ward has an enormous primary - there are 30 new Sunbeams alone! I think between Primary and the 2 Nursery classes there are approximately 225 kiddos. It's huge!) Owen sat right down and even had a school classmate in his class, Eli! Eli was kind of having a hard time and Owen was the good little friend and sat down next to Eli so Eli would feel better. Those two get along great and when both myself and Eli's mom went to check on the two boys, yes, they were antsy in their chairs, but they were behaving themselves (for the most part) during Sharing Time.

This brings mixed feelings to me. I, on one hand, can't believe he is almost 4 years old. It seems like just yesterday he was my new little baby. On the other hand, I can't believe he's only 4 years old. Owen is a fabulous big brother and is usually willing to help me with whatever I need. He offers to feed Howie for me; he'll let Baxter out when the need arises without having to be asked and then will let Baxter back in when he's at the back door.

I'm so proud of Owen and what a great person he is growing up to be. He has his moments when he fights with Caroline or doesn't listen to what Adam or I say and, especially as of late, has become pretty mouthy and sassy with both Adam and I. But what kid doesn't, right? I'm not fooling myself in thinking that he's never disobedient or never gets into trouble, but my heart literally melts for him when he does just the right thing, helps his sister, or says, "Mom will you play video games with me?"

There's something special about Owen that I'm just head over heels for. I don't know if it's because he is the first born and he's the reason I am a mom. Or, if it's because he reminds me a lot of me; or, if it's because he came to me after many years of prayers, tears, phone calls, blessings, and infertility treatments that FINALLY I was going to have a baby. He has a special place in my heart and will always be over the moon for this little boy - regardless of how old he is he will always be MY baby.

I know there will come a day when he won't want me around as much and would rather be with his friends. But, for now, I am trying to soak up all of these moments, regardless of how crazy he can make me, and just take it all in.

I wonder if this is how Heavenly Father and Jesus feel? Aren't all of us Sunbeams?