Learning to Swim in the Pool of Life

I've been slacking on my blog lately, like a lot. School is in full swing for both me and the kiddos. It's just about all I can do to keep up on the mountains of laundry that seem to pile up in the blink of an eye, dishes done, a picked up house (notice I didn't say clean), the bellies of the babes full and my homework. That doesn't include the football practice, dance practice, or music lessons that need to be driven to, grocery shopping that needs to be done, or an aching hip that is now requiring physical therapy.

I feel guilty that my house looks the way it does, the kids are feeling neglected - their behavior alone will tell you that, my sleep is neglected, so is my husband for that matter, I FEEL neglected, the house looks likes it's been neglected, and all I want to do at this moment is just break down and cry.

So, I'm sorry you haven't been able to read anything new for the last almost 2 months, I merely trying to keep from gulping in the water I seem to be drowning in over here.

Speaking of crying, Owen made "Star Student" last week at school. In order to share Owen with the class, I was asked to make a posterboard of him, activities, interests, etc., from newborn 'til now. I started flipping through the pictures of him that are so neatly organized in his baby books (gone are those days), and I began to get emotional. I miss the days of my tiny baby and the simpler, easier days. I am oh so grateful for the age he is now and the diapers that don't need to be changed, the sleeping through the night, etc. But the baby days of being so happy and care free.

Life is busy and I feel like my second home is the car. It's cleaner than my home at the moment, so why shouldn't it be, right. Life isn't going to get any easier or slow down. In fact, I've heard it gets harder and only speeds up. I'm hoping I can learn to swim in this pool of life and enjoy it. Maybe if I never learn to swim, I'll at least be able to tread water.

I'll try to be more dilligent in keeping my blog more up to date. I can't guarantee it. Just know that if you don't see me here for another few days, weeks, months, it's because I'm trying to figure out how to tread the water.

Our First Kindergartner

Who would've thunk this day would have come so quickly! Certainly not me. I can remember when Owen was born and the struggles that Adam and I went through just to have him. Now, in seems to be a blink of the eye, he is off to Kindergarten at Spectrum.

Thankfully, he's only going to 1/2 day kindergarten. I've caught lots and lots of flack for sending him to 1/2 day, as opposed to full day. There are lots of reasons I do not and will not send my kids to full day kindergarten, as long as I have the choice and can send them to 1/2 day, I will. It has absolutely nothing to do with his abilities. He is completely capable of doing the work of a full day kindergartner, despite what some have said to me. He can handle it and then some. I figure he has the rest of his educational career to go full day, one more year of being home with me half day isn't going to hinder that. Just like going full day isn't going to give him some overwhelming advantage later on.
(There's Owen walking down the hall with Caroline trailing behind him. My brother is in the dark blue shirt on the left, and the hand he is holding belongs to Agnes.)

Because of my own insecurities that I'm sure I project onto Owen, I am incredibly grateful that I have sent him to the same school as his cousin, Agnes. Yes, they went to preschool together last year, too. They had such a great time and this school was the only one that offered 1/2 day kindergarten that was anywhere remotely close to our house; and, it's in the school district that I want our children to attend. It is a win-win situation.

Adam shocked me by saying he not only wanted to go to back-to-school night to meet Owen's teacher (who I swear can't be older than 23) and "check out" the classroom but he wanted to take Owen to school on the first day. I thought maybe back-to-school night, but did not even fathom the whole first day of school. I was pleasantly surprised and, I think Owen was too. In fact, Owen was so excited he didn't want to ride in my car, he wanted to ride in "the white car", a.k.a. Adam's car and have Daddy take him. Owen seemed disappointed to learn that I would be there to take him into his class too.

(Agnes is the little girl just over Owen's shoulder in the pink and purple striped dress with her dad, my brother)

We all walked Owen into his class and got him situated at his desk, which he remembered where it was from back-to-school night. He saw his teacher, Ms. Strayer, who is just as cute as a button. She helped each child unpack their backpack, get it put away where it belongs. I held it together pretty darn well until I was in the car and going to the gym. That's when it hit me that my baby boy is in Kindergarten. I cried, just a little, and sat peacefully as I could in the car with Caroline and Howie in there too, and reflected for a few minutes at where the time has gone. Did I teach him well enough to be kind to others? Will he make new friends? Will the other kids be nice to him? Will other kids want to play with him? I certainly hope I can answer yes to all of these questions. There's just so many unknowns with this whole school situation and the first born that doesn't sit well with me. I'm hoping that as the days, weeks and months of this school year go by, it will sit better with me.

I think this is going to be a great year for Owen and for me. It will help me to prepare for him to be gone all day next year and then have Caroline gone to kindergarten next year. I can't believe my children are growing so fast. After all, this may be our first kindergartner, but it's certainly not our last.

Week #29 - Sunday Gatherings

I'm going to be off by a week, I know. But, my brain is becoming too convoluted for just about anything these days. So, to cut my brain some slack, I'll skip the week of July 31st and pick up with August 7th.

Today was Fast Sunday. My siblings and I (along with our families of course) have a tradition that we've been doing for about the last 18 months. Much like other families, we gather together for Sunday dinner on this Sunday of the month. It's a time to break the fast, gather together as family, catch up with everyone and their busy lives and just be family. The kids go crazy and run throughout the house, outside, wherever they can get the room to roam and run.

We had to make it a point to gather together once a month because our lives were getting too hectic. The distance between the furthest two siblings is only 12 miles. Yet, somehow days, weeks, months would go by and we would not see or sometimes talk to one another. That's pretty humbling and sad.

Today's Sunday gathering was at my house. I love having all of my family over to my house. No, I don't necessarily have the room for everyone, but THAT is what makes it so great. Wall-to-wall family members, a space that isn't quite big enough to hold everyone; I wonder if that's what Heaven is like? I certainly hope so. How great would that be - beyond my wildest dreams.

Each month I am filled with and reminded just how much love I have for my family. The unconditional love that we each have for one another is refreshing. Not being judged for the things you've done wrong or decisions you've made. It so great to be able to refill my cup and then have it runneth over of love, admiration, and respect for my family.

Even though at this stage of my life it is hard to get anything out of Sacrament meeting and Sundays can be one of the worst days of the week, not matter what happens, I will always look forward to Sunday gatherings with my family.

Arizona Science Center

Sometimes working for Honeywell has its benefits. One of these times was when Adam came home and asked if i wanted to take the kids to the Arizona Science Center. I asked him how much it would be and he said "FREE!" Reduced is better, but FREE is BEST. So, of course I did! It is pretty expensive for admission prices so I have yet to take them there. We had a great time exploring the different levels of the center and seeing all of what is to offer. I think if Howie was just a tad older we could have spent all day there and the kids would have been just fine to do so.


These lights on the floor were really neat. When the light was interrupted, a musical note, an animal sound, car/truck sound, etc. would play. They had a blast "playing" the musical scale of these lights. Around and around they went until they got dizzy.

I'm hoping we didn't catch a preview of a future career choice for Caroline as she wanted to "swing" around and around on the pole. She could not get enough of this pole and just wanted to keep going around and around. It was a basic model of how centrifugal force worked. She didn't understand that. They only thing she understood was how fun it was and how fast she could go around and around on the pole! (Oh boy - look out!)

Owen and Howie were "working" together to see if they could understand how this lever worked. I think Howie was getting upset because Owen wouldn't let Howie have a turn. All Howie kept saying was "Me do! Me do! Me do!"

Going back to my brief days of chemistry, this was fun for me to see the kids in the Play lab. One day they will understand the concepts that are put forth in this fun play learning environment, but for now, it was just cute to see them playing around in the lab.

This picture reminds me of the movie Megamind. It was a series of cameras and mirrors that would distort the face and head and come up with some pretty silly and hilarious images, much like a "house of mirrors" at a carnival would do. It just cracks me up to see this picture of Howie with this big head and him sucking his thumb.

We had an enjoyable day at the Arizona Science Center. It cost us a total of $1 for parking to enjoy the day together as a family and "learn" all about science and how it works.

Week #28 - Can't Deny Your Heritage

In my late teens and early twenties, whenever I was doing something I KNEW to be wrong, my dad would just look at me with hurt in his eyes and simply say, "You can't deny your heritage." I'm not sure, to this day, whether it was what he said, the way he said it, or the look in his eyes that hurt me the most.

Today, being the 24th of July, is a huge celebration in a small population of the world, but particularly those in the U.S.. No, it's not the celebration of our country's independence, but an independence of another sort. It's the independence and the courage of the pioneers that helped to settle the Utah Valley. The courage those men and women had along with way, pulling handcarts, walking mile after mile, losing loved ones to weather, illness, or who knows what else along the way, causes me to reflect on my own heritage.

I don't know if I have "true" pioneer heritage of those that walked across the plains of this country in my family, but I do have pioneer heritage. My mom is a convert to the Church. She is the only member of her family that ever joined the Church. SHE is a pioneer! If it wasn't for her, my life - if at all - would be very different. She had the courage to blaze her own trails in this life, join the church (even when her mother tried to talk her out of it), and take a leap of faith to join a religion (and lifestyle completely different from anything she had known before) that some in her family thought she was foolish for doing so. Even though she had this criticism and ridicule coming her way, she still went ahead and became a pioneer. No else has joined the church, in this life, because of her. But, she has had several opportunities to set examples, answer questions, and help others to understand what it is about our Church that makes us different or "peculiar".

I'm grateful that I've had cause to reflect on my heritage and what has happened in my life over the years. I'm grateful for my mother and the pioneer heritage she has given to me. Most importantly, I'm grateful that my dad was (and still is) wise enough to remind me when I was taking up more of the "straight and narrow" path than what I should have, to remind me that no matter how hard I try I could never "deny my heritage".

Week #27 - Clear Sailing

This week has been nothing but clear sailing. The laziness of coming back from being gone for two weeks has left the calendar with nothing scheduled and nothing to do. Perfect! Just the way I like it sometimes, but especially after coming back from vacation.

It has left me with the opportunity to get caught up with the housework, work on some projects, get the kids back into some sort of routine, lazy mornings with all of us crammed into my bed watching TV, swimming in the pool, lots and lots and lots of play time.

I know soon enough there will be the homework that needs to be done, the music lessons to go to, the dance lessons to be driven to, my own homework to be done and study time to squeeze in, chores to be done and strict routines to be adhered to all in the name of school.

Until then, I am grateful for the free, nothing scheduled, nowhere to be, clear sailing calendar. I wish you all one of these kinds of weeks.

Week #26 - Good Times and Summer Vacations

This past week as landed us in Idaho. It was a remarkable visit with my younger sister, Mindy. The weather was beautiful and about 30-40 degrees COOLER than what some were experiencing back in Arizona. Sorry for you, but oh so glad for me.

We've had some good times (which I will expand upon in a later and recaptive post), some fun times, lots of cousin time, and TONS and TONS and TONS of memories.

Some of my most treasured and fondest memories growing up were of the good times and summer vacations I had as a child. Whether it was in Mexico, Arizona, or Northern California, I remember them fondly. I am grateful for the opportunity to help my children have these good times and summer vacations so that maybe, quite possibly, and hopefully they too, will have the same fondness and memories of their own good times and summer vacations.

Week #25 - Phone Calls With New Beginnings

Adam told me he had a job interview a couple of weeks ago. I didn't think much of it based on what he was telling me about the job. He said he was flattered to get the interview and wasn't hoping for much more from there.

He was out in Kansas the week that the interviews were being done and absolutely had to be back in Arizona for the interview, the last day of the interviews. Of course, it was the only time something mechanical happened to the plane and he couldn't make it back. Of course, right?! He called the gentleman he was going to interview with and told him what had happened. He was kind enough to give Adam the option of either interviewing over the phone or doing it the next day, Friday, at the gentleman's convenience in person. Adam was not scheduled to work Friday, but was willing to jump through hoops for this interview, regardless of whether or not he wanted the job or, even heaven help me, got the job. It just wouldn't have reflected well on Adam. Needless to say, Adam opted for the less convenient in person interview on his day off - the day we was suppose to help me pack the car and get things ready for my drive with the kids to Idaho with the stop off in Utah.

When Adam got home from the interview, I asked him how it went. He said, "it went....uhhhh, okay I guess. Not great, but not bad." I was heartbroken for him, but tried my best to be positive and optimistic. Something deep down told me he was getting the job. I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I didn't voice this feeling just in case the hopes got dashed.

On Tuesday this past week, Adam called me while I was in Idaho to say he had a late meeting. When I asked him who schedules such late meetings, his reply was "the guy who just offered me a new job!" I was thrilled and began screaming into the phone and squealing with joy. It seems his "not great, but not bad" was better than he thought and just what the gentleman was looking for. He was offered a new job!

After discussing the job and finding out more of the particulars, I told Adam that he had my 100% support to accept this new job. He said he was happy with the offer and was grateful for my support. He had to let the new boss know the next day whether or not he was going to accept the job. Adam is still with the same company, Honeywell, but no longer in the Aerospace Division. Now, he has moved over to the corporate side and is in the Honeywell Information Technology Security ("HITS") Division.

This new job means no more traveling to Kansas! That alone made the job extremely appealing. It is a step up the "corporate ladder" with a new job title, a teeny tiny bit more money (who couldn't use that right), obviously more responsibility, which really means more stress, but in the end, he is HOME every night with our family.

I wasn't anticipating this phone call with this new beginning. But, believe me you, I am sooooo incredibly grateful for it, and grateful for a man who is smart enough, educated enough, works hard enough to be recognized, and qualified enough to get the job. Congrats, my Love. You've earned it and deserve it!

Week #24 - Dads and Birthdays - Mine and Not My Own

A week ago was Father's Day. This last week Adam turned a year older. Because of these two events happening, this week leads me to reflect on the dads in my life and the example they have been to me.

First, my dad, Jerry. My dad is a wonderful man. People say I am the female version of my dad. I not only look like him, but my mannerisms, personality, and especially, my emotions are just like him. I don't think there is a better complement for me than to me compared to my dad.

My dad is the smartest dad that I know, no really he is. You ask him a question about the scriptures, medicine, cars, sports, whatever, and he can change hats accordingly. He can not only answer the question you asked, but go into great detail about the answer. I don't know how he does it. He is a wonderful judge of character and has a true gift of discernment.

Second, my husband, Adam. Adam is a fabulous father and dad to our children. He is the one that takes the time to explain to the kids why things are they way they are. He is way better at appreciating them for who they are than I am. He's not a perfect dad, but he is most definitely the perfect dad for them. I love him and the dad and father he is to our children.

Third, my father-in-law, Leo. Leo is a kind, gentle man. He is a hard-working man. He spent many years working a young man's job, even when he wasn't such a young man any more. But, because of that, he provided a great example of a what a true work ethic is to his youngest son, my husband. He taught Adam how to work, what it means to work, and to do a job right, the first time. That work ethic made him a great provider for his family and our family through his example. I am grateful for this.

This past week, Adam "celebrated" his birthday - in Kansas, all by himself. I am sorry, my Love, that you had to spend this birthday away from the kids and me and couldn't celebrate it with us. But, in your honor, we ate cake and had a grand 'ole day celebrating your birthday for you. Next year, let's celebrate it together as a family, deal?!

I am grateful for dad and birthdays, they cause me to pause, if only for a moment out of my crazy day, to reflect on the impact they have on my life, whether they are mine or aren't my own.

Week #23 - Camping Out - Beach Style

I took the kids camping this week - to the beach - without Adam, but with my sister and her family and my sister-in-law and her family. We looked like a polygamist family I swear. There were 3 women, 10 kids and 1 man (my sister's husband). It was pretty hilarious to watch from the outside.

I was really anxious about doing this, even with the tremendous help that I had. Because, let's face it, even with help, there's usually not a good enough substitute for mom. As it turned out, it was one of the two weeks that we were traveling and the two weeks that Adam wasn't going to be in Kansas. Great timing, huh?

But, I must say, we had a BLAST! I can hardly wait for next year and am so excited to go again. Karina, my sister-in-law, has the whole "camping system" down pat. She helped this novice camper and get organized with a detailed list of what to bring, how much, menus, what we would be responsible for, etc. I think it was because of that coordination and organization that the trip went off without a hitch.

The kids got along together, played in the ocean for hours and hours and hours on end. The weather was PERFECT and so was the company and memories made. Most importantly, the kids are looking forward to going not only back to the beach, but camping again. Next time, we'll have to make sure that Adam will be joining us for the camp out - beach style.

Week #22 - Sisters - No Greater Bond

Today, is my younger (and littler) sister's birthday. As I look back on my life and think about all of the trouble we caused, havoc we wreaked, I can't help but to smile at some of the things we did.

Growing up, my mom would always ask me, "Janet, where's Mindy? Go find her!" It use to bug me as I seemed to be the one who was "responsible" for her and her whereabouts. But, really, I loved that people saw me and her together. Because it really was that way (or I like to remember it that way at least), wherever I was, she was there. Wherever she was, I was there. We were inseperable. It was great.

As we have grown up and are now married with kids of our own, sometimes I miss those days. I miss her terribly as she lives 2 states away and a solid 2 day drive to boot. I anticipate and look forward to the each summer when we load up the car and drive to Hailey, Idaho and spend those days with her. Yes, we talk on the phone at least 4 days a week, but there is something completely different than being there with her that makes me long for the days of being "the little girls" again.

I am excited to go see her again this year and to catch up with her. She's not just my sister, she is my friend, one of my best friends. I've often thought (and have even told her) that she may be my younger sister in this life - she's 20 months younger than me - but, in reality, she is my older wiser sister. Mindy has a unique knack for being able to comfort me when I'm emotional and to analyze things on the fly and with great precision. Through this analysis, she can calm me down and can help me to see things from a greater, better, and clearer prespective. We always have fun together, whether we are on the phone for hours on end, a 5 minute phone call, or the long summer days of the time that we get to share while we are together. Mindy is thoughtful, creative, strong, sharp-witted, funny, caring, a great mother, a wonderful friend, and an amazing sister.

So, on this day especially, and for this week, I am grateful for my sisters because there is no greater bond in a sibling relationship than that of two (or more) sisters. Love you, Mind! Happy Birthday!

Week #21 - Extra Days & Memories Made

I am grateful this week not necessarily for the extra day (although I am grateful for that) but that we got to spend together as a family, but also for the meaning behind the extra day we had.

I am so grateful for the men and women who have served this country and who have paid the ultimate price and sacrificed their lives to defend her. I am even more grateful for their families who let their sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, etc. serve this country and for the freedoms and liberties they defended in doing so.

The loved ones that have gone on and that I remembered this past week, I am grateful to know that one day I will be reunited with them. I don't want that day to come too quickly, because I have lots to do here on this Earth and lots that I want to be a part of on this Earth. But I am excited to know the truth that I will, one day, see them again.

I am grateful that Adam didn't have to travel to Kansas this week and we got one more extra day and memories made with the best husband and dad in the world.

Week #20 - The Littlest Munchkin

Howie turned 2 on the 21st of May - where has my tiny baby gone? He's been toddling around here for months now and I can't believe he's 2.

About 3 years ago, Adam and I were on the back patio watching the kids play around us. I looked at Adam and asked him if he could be done having kids right now. He turned to me and said, "Could I be done? Yeah, I could be." I remember gasping and being totally taken aback by the response. I told him there was no way I was done having kids and proceeded to tell him we needed to have another one. It took a couple months of convincing him and it's a good thing it didn't take longer than that. With the struggles we had with infertility, we had to start right away with jumping through the hoops again to see if I could get pregnant.

Hoop after hoop, procedure after procedure, drug after drug, injection after injection one good "forced ovulation" and POW - I was pregnant! I was having baby number three. You see, I have a helluva time getting pregnant. But, once I get pregnant, I don't want to give up that pregnancy. I don't go into labor, which is why I ended up with 3 c-sections. Go figure, huh?

Boy am I glad this little guy came to our family.

Howie is such a character. He's silly, sassy, and an absolute JOY to have in our family. More often than not, he makes me laugh with his little antics throughout the day. He, like both of the other two kids, bring me such joy as a mother. He can be his own special kind of trouble - the mischevious kind of trouble, but is so cute, you can't help but to smile or laugh at him when you do, on the many occasions, find him doing something he shouldn't be doing.



I am proud to be this little boy's mom. I can't wait to see what the future holds for this boy, but not want the future to come too quickly. I am enjoying the littlest munchkin and wish most days he'd stay this little.

Week #19 - Eternal Bliss

It's ironic that on the 19th week of this "challenge" falls the 19th of May. You see, 10 years ago Adam and I were married in the LA Temple. It was a great day, filled with "stories", love, the Spirit, family, friends, food and wonderful feelings. Ya know the kind of feelings I'm talking about....eternal bliss.

I remember talking with Adam one night before we were married. I was telling him how much "fun" it was going to be married. He looked at me and with a deadpan face said, "You know, being married isn't the fairy tale you see in the movies. It's not like Cinderella or anything like that." I recall the feeling of being defeated and then thinking in my head, "Whatever. OUR marriage is going to totally be a fairy tale." We were young, in love and had the world at our feet. I couldn't wait to have this fairy tale begin!

Well, as the years have gone on, he's been more correct about that dose of reality he so freely gave me than I'd care to admit to him. It has been 10 wonderful years with the perfect man for me. The years of marriage have not been perfect but, then again, neither are we. We have had plenty of downs and lots more ups. We've had our struggles, our disagreements, and our fair share of frustrations. But, we've had more happy times, silly times, fun times, times of not being able to imagine what life would be like without the other person there that has made the last 10 years such a joy to be married.

Is there still the eternal bliss? You betcha! It's changed, evolved, ebbed and flowed into something that is deeper, more meaningful and more passionate than any fairy tale or what Cinderella could ever have. That's a good thing - our eternal bliss is it's own kind of fairy tale.

Our Own Little Twinkle Toes

Caroline has always enjoyed dancing. I've signed her up for the town's dance classes before and she's loved it. With a gal in our ward teaching dance I thought I would give it a try to see how well, or not so well, Caroline would do before spending the big bucks to take her to a "real" dance studio. "Miss Liz" teaches dance out of her home that is less than 2 miles from our home. It was impossible to not give it a try, if for nothing else the convenience factor alone made it more than worth it.

Having a little girl who wants to dance is kind of hard for me to accept. Not that I don't think she could do it, but I always imagined a little girl going out and playing sports, like me. Not dancing, heaven forbid. I want the "feminine tomboy" not the prissy dancer. Maybe there is a world that will allow her to be the dancing tomboy. Heaven knows it would do my heart good.

Every Monday afternoon I would take Caroline to Miss Liz's house where she and several other darling little girls, would tap and ballet their little hearts out until it was time for me to come get her. All of this dancing effort lead to her recital that was held today. Caroline looked super cute in the costumes that were for her class. One of the moms made the aprons for each girl that they used to the song "Hey Good Lookin' ". The other song they danced to was "On the Good Ship". The girls did a lot of work (or was it play time.....?) in order to prepare for the recital.

I couldn't resist the urge to buy the pink foam rollers to see if they would work in Caroline's hair or not. THEY DID! We all know she doesn't have the thickest hair or much hair for that matter - but they totally worked and her hair was the curliest I think I will ever see it. Hopefully she'll like it well enough to want to wear it curly more often, especially since it was super easy to do.

If I can manage to figure out how to post some video from the performance, I'll put it on. For now and until then, the pics below will have to do of our own little twinkle toes.

Winner By TKO!!!

The stomach bug that laid me on my behind last weekend, seems to have gone through this family for a few more rounds.

Owen came in my bathroom last Saturday morning, early since it was Father's & Son's campout - like 9:30 early - and said, "hi, mom we're home!"

My reply was "What are you doing home?"
Owen "I got sick. I threw up outside the tent."

Wonderful! At least he made it outside the tent, right? Adam came in shortly after that and said he wasn't feeling all that great either. Fabulous!

Howie was still on the mend, Owen was now throwing up, Adam has the chills and body aches, I've got tummy trouble too.

I declared last Sunday a "family sick day" and kept all of us home from church. I figured no one else would want or need to get this virus and, frankly, I wasn't in the mood. I was D-O-N-E DONE!

Adam flew off to Kansas that night and I braced myself for some serious lack of sleep. Much to my surprise, nothing really happened until the morning. Owen seemed to be fine and didn't complain of stomach hurting or anything. Weird! Then it came back with a vengeance.

Tuesday morning, as I'm getting ready for the gym and feeding the kids breakfast, Owen proceeds to throw up all over the kitchen table. If there's one bodily fluid I can't deal with, it's throw-up. I get that cleaned up, check Owen's temp and low and behold, fever and now he's complaining that his legs are "sore". Great - the body aches. Needless to say, other than Howie's swim lesson, we didn't go anywhere nor did I get anything done on my to-do list.

Wednesday was a repeat of Tuesday. Thursday was Caroline's preschool graduation and previous plans to go to the "blue and yellow store"; i.e., Ikea. I needed to go desperately and figured I'd just keep Owen with me rather than send him in the "Smaland" to play with Caroline and his cousin.

He brought his "burp bucket" with him into the store and off we went. He did really well and didn't lose his cookies once, thank heavens. He seemed to perk up a little bit as the day carried on, plus I got something accomplished on my to-do list for the week. As far as I was concerned, it was a win-win situation.

After being "burp" free and other issues free for 24hours, he headed off to his own preschool splash party. He had fun and seems to have returned to his usual self, for which I am grateful.

But, I must say, I declared this nasty stomach bug going around winner by TKO in our family. Hopefully, you can avoid it all together and don't have to go even 1 round with it. But, if you do, prepare yourself to declare it winner by TKO also. Just sayin.......

Week #18 - Refuge of Home

It was a doozy of a week. Doctor appointments, lab appointments, they never seemed to end. It's one reason why I loved coming back home to the refuge of our house. The feeling that I got each time I walked in the door, was one of belonging, peace, and safety. It didn't matter what was happening outside, I felt safe even just pulling around the corner to see our home. It's almost like the saying, "Home Sweet Home" was put into my heart and it was tangible to my heart.

The contentment I'm sure had a lot to do with the fact that Adam was home this past week. It's amazing to me how a week can seem so long and how quickly the comfort of our routine can fall back into place when he's home. I'm not looking forward to him leaving. I don't like it when he's gone. The feeling of peace and safety seem to disappear when he's gone. Regardless, Thursday will be a great day, Adam will be home that day and....it's a special day...FOR US!!!

Round 2 or is it 3?

Took Howie back to the pediatrician today. His tummy still isn't right from last weekend. Wait, I mean, it got slightly better and then back to the not-so-normal-normal he's been experiencing lately.

Great! I think it's a virus that is going around and he was just fortunate to get it before (or was it during or after) his hospital stay. Regardless, his tummy just ain't right. Round 2? He was suppose to go with Adam and Owen on the Fathers and Sons campout. He would have had a blast. Instead, I'm getting hit with the explosions and blasts. Who knew such a little boy could have such reactions. WHOA! Now, I get to stay home and help him complete and hopefully pass his stool study - GROSSSS! - just to make sure there isn't a bigger problem than just this mere virus going around.

Howie was so kind to pass this bug on to me. Sweeeeeet - thanks buddy! But really, could have done without it. Instead of painting my office, finishing the organizing, spending some much needed mommy-daughter time and spoiling the precious little girl rotten, I'm becoming well acquainted with my porcelain throne and trust me when I say, it is NOT spoiling me rotten. I wish we weren't so close right now.

Whether it is round 2 or 3, I am certainly hoping this family doesn't go a full ten rounds with this virus it is a terrible one. I'm hoping all of us will be feeling better, MUCH BETTER, by tomorrow and that a weekend and its plans can be salvaged.

It's Like De Ja Vu All Over Again

It was last Thursday night when it all started. The writhing in pain, the screaming and crying, the not being able to sleep, the "what-on-earth-is-going-on-here" thought; the "Do I call my dad and wake him up in the middle of the night?"; the "what if it's nothing?" then, the "this can't be nothing, something is seriously wrong."

And it was, this time with Howie.

Howie has night terrors. He was running around Thursday night, like he usually does laughing, goofing, just plain being silly. He ran into me in the bedroom (I was back early from school, another post for another time) to give me a kiss goodnight. Off to bed he went.

Around 9:30 was the first scream. I went in to soothe him back to sleep and sure enough, he fell right back to sleep. At 10:15 came the second scream, 11:45 was the third; 12:30 was the fourth (I lost count after that). After the third scream I became suspicious that this night was going to be something more than just the usual night terror night. Usually if it is a case of the night terrors, he'll scream out the first time around 11:30, the second time around 2:30 and the third time around 5:30. I just had a "hunch" that this was different and there wasn't something quite right.

On the fourth scream, I told Adam to bring Howie into our bed - I didn't want to have to keep getting up to soothe him every 45 minutes or so the entire night. This turned out to be one of the WORST nights of sleep I have ever gotten in my life. No pregnancy, no final trimester, no recovering from a c-section, no newborn was ever as bad as this night. Howie continued to thrash, writhe in pain, scream, cry, and take up an entire king size bed (I slept on less than 8" of the bed ALL NIGHT LONG). As if I needed an alarm clock, I got up around 630 to call my dad and ask him the signs of a kidney infection, urinary tract infection, appendicitis, etc. He told me the signs to look for and suggested that if it continues that I needed to get Howie into see the doctor. Howie then proceeded to throw up in bed around 715 (great, huh?) I got up and showered, just on the off chance that I needed to take him into the doctor.

Still the nagging thought of something just wasn't right, didn't and wouldn't leave me alone. At 8 o'clock on the dot I called the pediatricians office. The only thing they had with his regular doctor was a 945, 1045 or 1115. None of those times would work. I had an appointment with my doctor at 950, I had to pick up preschoolers at 11. I asked for a different doctor and got in at 830.

When we arrived, Howie was acting his usually cute self and looking at the "fooshies" (fish) in the tank. We got called back and that's when things proceeded to go south, if you will. I explained the symptoms and concerns to the doctor. She examined him and said definitely not a kidney, urinary tract or other infection. Fabulous! Not so fast. Instead, she looked at me and said, "I'm highly suspicious of an intussusception."

ARE YOU FOR REAL?! Tell me you're kidding, right? No siree, not at all. She did a rectal exam on the poor guy and determined that there was in fact blood in Howie's stool and then we proceeded to have the following conversation:


Dr. C: "I am pretty sure Howie has an intussusception. That is when the - "
Me: "Dr. C. we are all too aware of what that is. You see my husband had this happen to him almost 2 years ago, when Howie was just 3 1/2 months old."
Dr.C: "Really?!"
Me: "Yep, really."
Dr.C.: "Well, you need to go immediately to Carden Children's Hospital. I will call them now and tell them you are coming. By the time you get there they will be expecting you."
Me: "Okay. Thank you."

Fearing the worst and dreading that Howie was going to have to go through what Adam went through, I whisked Howie out of the office, called Adam on the way home to tell him the news, called my dad to update him, and began calling friends and neighbors to see if they could take the remaining two kids whilst we figured out what was wrong with Howie. I got home and Adam took Howie to the hospital. I got Caroline situated and then proceeded to go to my own appointment, which was in desperate need for me.

I met Adam and Howie at the hospital where Howie hadn't once writhed in pain or even flinched. I thought it was going to be a false alarm and we'd be sent home that day. When the ER doctor came into the room, Howie was bouncing on his knees while holding onto the rail of the bed. As I was talking to the ER doctor, Adam was telling Howie to not do that anymore because he was going to get hurt. Howie was turning around to look at Adam, lost his balance and then proceeded to knock his mouth against the rail, gave a good bump to his tooth to knock it loose and scrape his chin. Well, at least we were in the right place for that to happen!

The ER doctor talked to us and we explained our history of this possible diagnosis with him and told him that we wanted an ultrasound as well. He was more than happy to oblige us and ordered both tests to be done. The xray didn't show a whole lot, other than some big gas bubbles that were trapped. The ultrasound on the other hand, well that showed that Howie did indeed have an intussusception. I couldn't believe it. It's not common for adults to get it, but Adam did. And although it is fairly common in little boys between the ages of 10-24 months, what was the chance that our son, after Adam had his episode, would experience the EXACT SAME THING. C'mon really? It's like it's de ja vu all over again.

The radiologist did a gastrograph on Howie (a Barium enema with contrast die), to make sure that she was getting the intussusception reduced. She used 5 12 oz. bottles on the poor tyke. The pressure and fluid that was used was enough to reduce the problem and enough so that the entire 2nd flood could hear poor Howie screaming with this procedure being done. All in all it was a success, which meant no surgery. On the other hand, the chance of it happening again within the first 24hrs of reducing it was great. Which meant, Howie was going to be admitted for an overnight stay.

We got checked-in at the ER at around 945, by the time Howie was up to his room was 830. He slept maybe 1.5 hours all day long and with the sleepless night the night before that he had one would think that maybe he would crash right out once on the floor. WRONG! He was awake until about 1015. Then he crashed. The nurses would come in and monitor his vitals with the lights on, he didn't flinch. He was out!

Adam and I traded places once more. I slept at the hospital and Adam came home to be with the kids. As we waited for the pediatric surgeon to discharge Howie (the oncall pediatrician had already given us the okay to leave - one foot out the door!) he started to grimace in pain again. I immediately called the nurse to have the pediatrician come back into our room. I explained what he was doing and she ordered an xray for Howie. It was shortly after the xray was taken that I knew what was causing Howie so much pain.

The little stinker (pun intended) proceeded to let out the biggest toot I have EVER HEARD come out of a little boy. I couldn't believe it. When his nurse came back from lunch, not expecting to still see us there, she came into the room to find out what was going on. I explained to her what happened and then, well Howie obliged her with another round of ginormous flatulence that even the nurse was taken aback by. Sweet, huh?! I called Adam and for the last time, we traded places again.

This time, I was greeted at home by my own mom and dad whom had come over for the weekend. It was good to see them and I was grateful my dad could be here to help me understand what was happening and explain things further to me. We watched Howie and when I had questions about his behavior, my dad was right there to answer them. No phone calls this time, just a turn of the head and a question asked and answered immediately. It was an INCREDIBLE comfort to have him there.

Finally, I got a text from Adam about 330 that said they were just waiting for paperwork and they would be on their way home. Waaaaaawhooooooo! My baby would be home and not have to spend another night in the hospital. That was the best news I had heard all day.

So, now we deal with some of the side effects of the procedure, the bonked tooth and sore mouth, and wait and watch to see what happens next. If some of the side effects don't clear up by Friday, he'll be back to the pediatrician (he was just there today for a follow-up visit post hospitalization) to have further testing done. I am mindful and hopeful that everything will be better and that nothing more will need to be done.

I still can't believe the chances of this happening to two different people in the same family just under 2 years apart. The chances have to slim. It is definitely a de ja vu all over again. Let's just hope there isn't a "three times a charm" in the family!

Week #17 - Mothers

I am so grateful for my mother. She is such an inspiration to me. Quite often I stop to think of all that she has accomplished in her life. A convert to the church, she was a pioneer in her family with the Gospel. No other family members joined the church, but she was an example to them of how to live according to the Gospel. She moved to Hawaii not knowing a soul, but needing a change in her life. It was there that she met my dad and joined the church. She had 5 children in 7 years, moved 13 times in the first 13 years of marriage, supported my father through medical school, helped my dad start his own practice, still works in my dad's office (it was suppose to be "temporary" - going on almost 27 years now!) and has seen all 5 of us get married in the temple to our eternal companions, and now is a grandmother to 16 grandkids!

There are so many reasons why I am grateful to have my mother be a friend in my life. She means a lot to me. I can't imagine the day where I don't have her with me in this life anymore. I don't like to think of that day. So, I enjoy each and every telephone conversation I have with her each day, whether it is 2 minutes or 20 minutes. I love it!

I am also grateful to my Heavenly Father for my three children that have made me a mother. They are each so special and unique. They bring with them their own inherit challenges in raising them. But to have a day without their laughter, smiles, hugs, kisses, and snuggles would be a day that is less than perfect. I could do without the fighting, screaming, yelling, teasing, and so on. But, without all of it, I wouldn't be a mother.

Week #16 - The 'Ole Bod, Regardless of Blob Factor

I'm almost done with school. I can hardly wait - time to do some serious organizing around the house, paint a few craft projects, and organize and put together my office/craft room, finish projects that have been put way too far on the back burner, read books - like novel books - that I want to read, not necessarily HAVE TO read. I am thrilled with excitement about finishing school in just a few short days, like 5 to be exact!

This is the second semester that I have taken Anatomy and Physiology. It has been so much fun to learn about the 'ole bod!! I am by no means in any miraculous shape (blob doesn't really count) and I'm not quite so round any more. Regardless, as I have learned about the human body, there is one thing that has happened that has become so profound to me - the human body is no accident. It is a divinely inspired creation of God. There are no accidents in the design of the human body.

I am amazed time and time again with each section I have studied how marvelous the human body is. It isn't just skin, bones, muscles, organs. It is a machine - literally - down to every last cell in our bodies. There are so many checks and balances and safety features in the body that it is impossible to say it was not created by a Divine Being.

I am grateful for the knowledge that I have that my body is designed and created in HIS image. We are stewards of our body and are to take care of it, nourish it, exercise it, use it to it's ability, rest it. It is also comforting to know that because we are created in HIS image, the tears I shed, the hairs that fall from my head, the angst in my heart, or the worry in my head has all been felt before by my Savior, Jesus Christ, who too is created in HIS image.

If the 'ole bod was good enough for my Savior, it certainly is beyond good enough for me, regardless of the blob factor.

Week #15 - The Gift of Easter

This year, we had to do our Easter festivities early in the morning, like right when the kids got up - Adam was leaving for Kansas, of course. The kid woke early to see what "The Bunny" had brought them and to see if he had hidden all of the eggs they so carefully filled with all sorts of yummi-ness the night before. Sure enough, he had. The kids giggled with delight at each egg they found hidden in its own secret (or not so secret) spot. They had a lot of fun. Adam and I both had fun watching them "hunt" and find each egg.

One thing that came in their baskets was a book from Grandma and Grandpa Grimsley. Howie got a "lift and look book" with foam pages and pieces that come out of the pages. The story tells about Daniel in the lion's den. Owen and Caroline each got a Book of Mormon with their names engraved on the front cover. They were so excited. I felt guilty each Sunday Owen would come out of church asking when he was going to get his own Book of Mormon. Fortunately, I don't have to answer that question any more.

(all three of my angles - Caroline, Owen, Howie)

It was a happy Easter and a quiet one. Despite the goings on early in the morning, it was a quiet day. One that brought me into some reflection and introspection of mine own. I started wondering about my own testimony of Jesus Christ and how I came to know of His love for me. I can't say that it was one "ta-da" or "light bulb" moment. It's just kind of always been there. There have been days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years, when I didn't do much to foster it, nurture it or, dare I say it, even care about it. I wanted to do what I thought was best for me, regardless of what it may cost me, both temporally and spiritually.

But, without a doubt, without a shred of cloudy judgment, I KNOW my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me and are all too aware of me and what I do, need, think, feel, want, wonder. No other beings know me the way they do. How great a gift I was given to have my elder brother, Jesus Christ, atone for my many, many mistakes and grievances in the life. How great of a gift it is for me to know that despite my too many faults HE still loves me. He was willing to give his life for me.....ME! All to make it possible for me to repent, partake of the Atonement and return to live with my Heavenly Father again.

So, to all of you I say Happy Easter. But really, I hope you each understand the gift of Easter and what it means in your life. It is never too late to find out.

It's MY Birthday Party!

All week long we heard a daily squeal about how it will soon be "MY brithday party" from Ms. Caroline. In fact, and to be more correct, it was more like an hourly reminder.

It was adorable! This is the first year that Caroline had an "official" birthday party. She picked who she wanted to invite. I did have to limit the number of kids as it seemed like she wanted to invite everyone, and then some, to her party.

I wanted to do something a little different for her birthday party than what has been done in the past with her friends. She's always had a great time at the parties, but I was the one up for more of a change. Knowing that this sweet little girl loves (and I cannot emphasize that enough) to carry around purses, boxes, bags, whatever she can put her "treasures" into, I knew that I wanted to make some sort of craft. And, most importantly, I KNEW that I did not want that crafty mess in my house. I came up with the idea, after many trips in and out of the store, to take her to Michael's craft store and have her party there. Some thought I was crazy for even thinking of this place with 4 year old girls; some thought it would be a great idea; and still, even some thought I had completely lost all of my marbles.

Might I say, that was one of the more brilliant ideas I have had in my life! They gave me a list of things that I could do (or come up with one of my own) and when I scanned the list and saw the words "treasure box", it was like a choir of heavenly angels were signing. BINGO! - that was the ticket.

A couple of days before the party, I took her to the store to help me pick out the decoration for the boxes, the paints, and whatever else she wanted to do with them. In the end, and with a couple of girls in mind for specific decorations, we ended up with pink, purple, and white paint, bright pink bling for the boxes, different shades of pink feathers, and foam letters for the girls to stick the letters of their names onto the boxes. Of course, it being Ms. Caroline's birthday, the theme for the party day was all about pink, princess and all other things girlie.


I made the reservation about 3 weeks in advance, and I'm glad I made it that early. It seems that day was very popular for birthday parties as there were 3 more after Caroline's. But, we were first!

Caroline's friends came into the special room and we had a helper, Ms. Wendy, who took care of most of the work. Adam and I basically supplied the craft, balloons, and cake. It was that easy. Ms. Wendy helped the girls with the paint, glued on the feet to the boxes, glued on feathers, served the cupcakes, and did the clean up. Really - who could not ask for more?!

Caroline had such a great time at her party and was so happy to see everyone there. Now, she thinks she needs a birthday party every weekend. Me, I'm glad this one is done and she is looking forward to her next birthday. For now, none of us have to listen to "it's MY birthday party!" for a little while at least.

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Week #14 - Mini Me

We celebrated Caroline's birthday on Tuesday with her party over the weekend. She had a ton of fun! I think it went off without a hitch as well.

At the beginning of this semester, my teacher asked me to sum up my life in 6 words. Couldn't be more or less, just 6. Here were my two 6 word phrases that I came up with:

1. Mother of three. Wife. Daughter. Athlete.

2. Lugubrious middle daughter. Payback is hell.

Caroline not only looks like me, but is me emotionally as well. I now understand why I was picked on so much growing up - it was extremely easy to get a reaction out of me. Most of the time it was tears.

Now, being a mother to a daughter who is my mini me, in more ways than one, I feel my parents' pain at having heard me cry all those years over every little thing that would upset me.

Even so, I don't know what I'd do without her. She is so incredibly sweet, usually when she isnt' feeling threatened in one way or another. OR, the more likely scenario, when she isn't being mischevious behind my back driving one, or both, of her brothers to the point of frustration. She's growing up so fast. As hard as it is some days, I really do wish I could bottle the good days up and never let them go so I can hang on to this sweetness for years to come.

I love, love, love this girl to pieces. She makes it easy to do so being a mini me afterall.

"Keep Swimming! Keep Swimming!"

With the dog days of summer quickly approaching us, I wanted to get a jump on the swim lessons for the kids. The teacher I used last summer sent out an e-mail in February signing up kids for her semi-private lessons starting the first week in April. Each session is 3 weeks long I knew I wanted the first session absolutely, but how many after that was I willing to pay for. Hmmmmm..... in the meantime while I'm deciding, please

SIGN US UP!

After last summer and the wonderful experience the kids had with her and how much they improved in such a short amount of time, I was chomping at the bit to get them back into the pool and, especially with this instructor.

April finally rolled around and right after preschool 3 days a week, we hustle (and I mean hustle) off to swim lessons. They love it, and so do I. They've just completed their second week of lessons. In the first week of the lessons she had them going off the diving board and rolling over to their backs to get the air they need. The second week of the lessons she had them diving to the bottom of the pool (shallow end) to retrieve the "treasure" that had been "lost" at the bottom of the pool.

Owen had done this last year so I wasn't worried about him. I knew he could do it. Caroline, she's a different story. Although we've come a very long way with her, she still doesn't like to go under water. I think she fears drowning and, therefore, panics like crazy. But, I couldn't believe it when the teacher got Caroline to dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve her treasure! Four feet down and up she came with the treasure in hand. WOW!!!

Wednesday this past week was "dive day". She was teaching the kids to dive into the pool using a racing-type start. Owen loves dive day. Caroline, not so much. But, once again, the teacher got Caroline to "dive" off of the diving board! Oh the things our kids will do for other people and not their own parents!

I am anxious to see what the third week of the first session will bring. I can hardly wait to see the growth in them at the end of the second session. I might even contemplate doing a third session or a week here or there in July. (The instructor does the July session on a weekly basis because there are so many people gone in July. I think it's smart. That way, if there's a week that is "dead" and not much going on I could put them into a "refresher week" in July.)

I finally remembered to bring the camera and snap some pictures of the kids doing their thing in the pool.

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Caroline is 4 Going on 14!

Yep, she's 4 today....going on 14 (or so she thinks). I can't believe we have been blessed with our baby girl for 4 whole years...already. This picture completely and 100% sums up her personality - sweet, a whole lot of sassy, ALL girlie, but will give you a run for your money all with a smile on her face. (She's too busy checking herself out in the mirror to look at the camera in this picture)

She is absolutely my precious girl. Regardless of her having the uncanny ability to cry and burst into tears at the drop of a hat, I love her to pieces.

We didn't do much for her birthday today, Adam is gone to Kansas (big surprise there, huh?). But, we have full intentions to celebrate big with her birthday party on Saturday with her friends. She can hardly wait. She's so incredibly excited and has been talking about her party for weeks now, literally!

So, here's to you my Biggi -lishy-lou. Happy birthday to the best 4 year old girl I know hands down. You bring so many smiles to my day. I love you and look forward to the next 14 years with you, watching you grow and becoming the princess I already know you are. I love you!

Week #13 - The Joys of Reading

When I was figuring out how I was going to teach Owen to read, I consulted many sources. The three main sources of whose opinions I valued the most were my two sisters and one sister-in-law, all of whom had used this book. They swore by it and said they wouldn't use any other. I read reviews online and it got some good ones. I decided to give it a whirl and ordered my copy of this book. But, being the skeptic that I can be sometimes, still had my doubts.

Am I ever so glad I did order this book AND listen to my sisters. I love this book!!! It is simple to follow; simple to understand; simple to use; simple for the parent and child alike. Sixty-two lessons ago, Owen started this book. He is now reading this book as well as other very simple books. In fact, the other night when Adam was home, Owen read the book "Goodnight Moon" to Adam.

There have been some serious frustrations on my part in teaching Owen to read. I'm sure he has experienced them as well. There were some lessons where it felt like we were going 1 step forward, 3 steps back. A 20 minute once a day lesson was turning into an hour lesson once a day. It became a source of struggle, conflict, contention and bad feelings between the both of us. He was dreading the reading time and, frankly, so was I.

I tried explaining to Owen how important it was that he learned to read. I said to him, "Reading is the key to freedom. If you can read, you can learn to do anything." I got the glazed-over, what-in-the-world-is-she-talking-about look. He said he understood but still, the frustration, anxiety and uncertainty lingered.

I finally sent up the flare and white flag in surrender and told Adam he had to do it. I was done! I couldn't take it anymore. No matter what I tried, he just didn't seem to understand. So, the infinitely more patient parent that I, sat down quietly with Owen and got him over the humps of frustration and insecurities (to which there are LOTS!). Slowly, ever so slowly, Owen began to understand the joys of reading.

When he and Adam would finish a lesson with the story at the end, Owen giddy with excitement and pride would run to find me clutching the book. He would flip open the page to his lesson and read me the short story at the end. It wasn't much, but the ego boosting and confidence was returning to this sweet child.

Having completed yet another lesson in this book, I am so incredibly grateful that Owen is discovering that he really can do something (after large amounts of ego stroking and "you can do its") and seeing his confidence bloom over discovering the joys of reading is all worth it to this proud mom!

"To Hear My Soul's Complaint"

Ever since the first of the year, each Sunday Owen would come home and say, "Mom can we read scriptures tonight?" "Of course we can" would be my reply and then, well, it never seemed to happen. I rationalized it by telling myself, "they won't understand 'em anyway"; "they're too young and won't sit still"; "it's just one more thing to add to the nightly routine, do I really want to do this?"

Until this last week, that is. Adam had left for Kansas for the second week in a row (with the third one coming up on Sunday's depature). After we had all dried our tears (some more than others) at seeing Daddy drive off, came the usual question from Owen, "Mom, can we read scriptures tonight?" "Yes, we can." I didn't think it would actually happen.

Afterall, being a "married but single mom" these days, I just didn't see how it was going to work. Bedtime routines take a minimum of 30 minutes longer when I am by myself. Regardless of starting them 30 minutes earlier, the kids always seem to be in bed 45 minutes past their usual bedtime. I am so exhausted by the time they go to bed I just want to collapse. But, there's the laundry to fold (forget putting it away), loads to transfer from the machines, dishes to be done, toys to be picked up (that were "forgotten" before the littles went to bed) and, oh yeah, don't forget studying to be done.

BUT WE DID IT!!!

This was a HUGE deal for all of us. I figured keeping them up a few extra minutes isn't going to hurt them and whatever I needed to get done, was going to be there whether I read them the scriptures or not. I flipped open the scriptures and we dived in. They even wanted me to read 2 chapters to them. So I did. Why stop a good thing, right? Two chapters into our first reading as a family of the Book of Mormon, and things were going well.

I am happy to report that we have read everyday this week, and are even a few chapters ahead of the usual "one chapter a day" routine. I didn't realize how much this was going to impact me until tonight's reading. I was reading 1Ne 9:6, where it reads:

"But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words."

I got choked up at those words when I was reading them. A little while before this, Adam had come into the office asking me, what was the matter. It was a simple and innocent enough question. I don't think he was ready for the torrential downpour of tears that followed. I poured out my heartaches to him and wondering how was I going to get "everything" done all the while being overwhelmed and stressed with his impending depature again on Sunday, and trying to be a good (I'll settle for decent at this point) mom to the kids.

When those words were read in my head, but more importantly in my heart, I was reminded again that I don't have to wonder how it will all get done or, if it will all get done. I am doing what is being asked of me, by Him. I hadn't said a prayer out loud regarding these things - there's just too much to be grateful for and other things of concern. But these thoughts have been deep down in my soul and in my heart for weeks, maybe even months, now.

Despite my uneasy feelings and feelings of doubt, He knew and was there "to hear my soul's complaint" and to answer it with the quiet reassurance that I needed at that moment.

Week #12 - All Things Cool

Have I told you how much I HATE the heat? I do, like A LOT! I would rather be frozen solid than be hot and sweaty (except for when I'm exercising). The feeling of sweat rolling down my back as I am standing in the shade is just so not appealing to me. I loathe the summer time around here, especially September. That has to be the worst month of the whole year. In the rest of the country, September is a sign that fall is coming and with that it will bring cooler temps. Not the case here in the Valley of the Sun. It doesn't really start to cool off until oh, mid-October.

Why is it that I live in a state that averages 100+ degrees ALL SUMMER LONG? Plus, the high heat brings out all kinds of creepy crawlies that I despise, like roaches, scorpions, crickets, cicadas. (That is almost the first question to Heavenly Father when I see him again; "What's with the scorpions and mosquitoes? Are they really necessary?") I miss the seasons, the four seasons of winter, spring, summer, fall. Here it's just jeans and shorts seasons- nothing really in between. Sometimes I don't know why I live here either.

Oh, there is the small and simple fact that my family lives here and, really minus the summer time heat, September, and the creepy crawlies, I do absolutely love it here! I think it is the perfect place to raise a family.

My whole heat v. cold reasoning is this: there are only so many layers one can take off before there are well, no more layers to take off. Jumping in the swimming pool will in fact cool you off, BUT as soon as you get out you start air drying and will be dry and hot and sweaty in a matter of minutes. Not too mention when the pool water gets too warm, it's really not very refreshing and is too warm for swimming. When it's cooler outside, the layers can just be added to keep warm. Blankets, jackets, mittens, gloves, hats, fires, snuggling with the ones you love. It all adds to the heat and the warmth.

This past week gave me the chance to remember just what is inevitable in just a matter of a few short weeks.....the dreaded summer heat. Temperatures reached almost 100 degrees. I about melted and then died.

This week made me incredibly grateful for all things cool - like ice cream, popsicles, ice water, a cold Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper, but especially the A/C. There are some who have been here for decades and have learned to live without A/C - like my grandmother. That lady is one strong lady. She has lived here for too many decades to count now, raised 4 children here, still lives in the same house as having raised those children all without A/C. She just has a swamp cooler. I don't know how she does it. I could never survive in conditions like that - trust me.

I took her advice though. Why suffer when you can do something about it. I turned on my A/C this past week. I loved the feeling of cool air on my skin. I won't love the electric bill when I see it. But, it will leave me with the feelings of gratitude and gratefulness for all things cool.

Now, excuse me while I go and turn down the thermostat to make it even colder in my house and find my Diet Coke to sip.

A Little Help Here, Please?

My nephew, Jared, is a great young man. I'm not just saying this because he is my nephew or because I may be slightly biased. It is the honest to goodness truth! He's an awesome student (straight A's), National Honor Society, on the varsity swim team - since being a freshman - for Queen Creek H.S. (Go Bulldog's!), and now he can add one more accolade to his resume....EAGLE SCOUT! He's kind, considerate of others and their feelings, funny, practical, good looking and will make some young lady very happy one day. One day in the very distant future.

From the time the eagle project was conceptualized to the day it was completed was five (5) days. Yes, you read that correctly, 5 whole days! Wednesday the call was placed to the principal at the school, Thursday it was approved, Saturday the plants and other supplies were purchased, today the project was commenced and completed. It was amazing that it happened just that quickly and with over 50 people there to help him on such short notice!

I, of course being the dutiful aunt that I am, was there to support him, help him and be the "historian" of the project. I was there with my camera, kids, and willingness and snapped away. 170 pictures snapped away to be exact! The kids dug a few holes, scratched away some rock, collected the disposable flower pots and then played and played and played on the school's playground while the rest of the crew finished up the plants and repainted and numbered the hopscoth paths.

There were oodles of teeangers around. It was fun for me to get a glimpse of what my life is going to be like in just a short 8 years. No, I'm not rushing it along - but fun to see. It was a hoot to see these big teenage boys handling these delicate little flowers, place them ever so gently into the soil and then make sure they are planted just right. Oh some of the ironies of life. In any event, it was a job well done and there was a lot of hard work that went into getting this project completed. He needed the help, asked for the help and received the help.

The principal was saying today that since last Wednesday, when Jared got his project off the ground, she has received two more telephone calls from scouts looking for eagle projects to do, including one today! She promised the two other boys that there was plenty for them to do and she would be contacting them soon to get them an eagle project.

I am so very proud of Jared and will offer him help any day of the week. All he has to say is, "a little help here, please!"

Week #11 - The Simple Things - The Basics

There weren't any fancy vacations this week. There weren't any earth shattering moments. Nor, were there any noteworthy moments. It was just the simple things - the basics that kept me going.

An established routine.

A husband who was home.

Three kids who slept through the night.

Going to the gym/running outside.

Having lunch with my sister-in-law.

Adam teaching Owen the rules of football.

The arguing and bickering between the kids.

Piles of laundry to do.

Bathrooms to clean.

Homework to be done.

You know, the basics. For that I am grateful. Life gets crazy enough with all of the ups, downs and in-betweens. So, when the simple things - the basics come along, I love it and find myself wishing it happened more and more.

'Tis not so for this coming week. I hope I have the stamina to survive the craziness ahead of me all the while wishing/wanting/longing for the simple things - the basics.

Musical Rooms Means End of an Era & Mixed Emotions

I loved this house when we first walked into it. It has 4 bedrooms. I had great plans the instant we walked through as to what all 4 bedrooms would one day become.

That day has finally happened and I don't know how I quite feel about it - still. Before venturing off to California, one of the projects at hand was to move Howie into Owen's room. This meant that my two boys would be officially - and finally - sharing a room.

My baby, my little Howie is ready to sleep in a twin sized bed? Really?! Didn't I just give birth to him? Could this really be happening?

The night before we moved him into "the boys' room", I opened the door and watched him sleeping so peacefully in the crib. I started to cry (just like I am now at the memory of him sleeping in his crib). It hit me hard in that instant that there would no longer be any more babies in our home. No more of OUR babies in our home, in our crib, in the room set up for the babies 4 plus years ago when we moved in. We officially ended the "baby era".

When Adam took the crib down, that's when I really cried. I thought back to the day when I was 7 months pregnant with Owen and Adam and his dad put the crib together in the living room of our house in Mesa. Not realizing it would be 1 inch too wide to fit through the doorway, only to have Adam take it apart and reassemble it in the room we would bring Owen home to.

We struggled and struggled with infertility. IUI's, IVF, doctor appointment after doctor appointment, injections, drugs, we did it all. It took us 4 years 'til I got pregnant with Owen. And then, POOF! The baby era is gone in a heartbeat. I can't believe it has gone by that quickly and that stage is over in our family.

With the end of this era, moving Howie around, it also meant I would be getting an office/craft room. That had always been the ultimate outlook of this room, but it brings about a lot of mixed emotions. I am teary-eyed over the end of the era, but overjoyed and thrilled that I can finally have an office, study in peace and quiet and best of all work on my projects in my own room. If I can't finish the projects right then, I can close the door and come back to it at a later point. I no longer have to clean up my project, or move it to a different location in the house, threaten the kids with bodily harm if they dare to even breathe on it. A simple lock of the doorknob and closing of the door will be all it takes to keep my projects safe.

Now, if only I can see through the tears to be able to work on those projects.

Happiest Place & Mom on Earth

After much planning and figuring, we took the kiddos to Disneyland. Most of it was to celebrate Owen's 5th birthday as a family - together. All of the kids had so much fun. I was giddy with excitement for weeks leading up to the eventful days. I knew they would be excited to go on the rides, see the princesses, see Mickey and just plain be at Disneyland.

One night at dinner, the kids asked when we would be traveling back to California. Adam and I hadn't told them we were going to Disneyland. We wanted to surprise them and have that surprise be as close as we could get it to the actual departure and trip to California. Reasoning aside, I told them we would be going in a couple of weeks. The rest of the conversation went a little something like this:

Owen: " Are we going to the beach?"
Me: "No. Not this trip. Probably the trip after this one we can go to the beach."
Owen: " Then why are we going to California?"

I looked at Adam at this point and asked if we should tell them what we were doing. He didn't care, so I told them about their surprise.

Me: "Well......... we are going to.......DISNEYLAND!"
Owen: "Caroline, we are going to Disneyland!"

The kids began to squeal with glee and excitement at the thought of going to D-land. Adam asked Caroline if she knew what that meant. Through he gleeful squeals, she yells, "NO!"

Adam and I busted out laughing. Not a clue as to what it meant, but she figured it had to be good. And boy was it!

It really is, THE happiest place on Earth. The music, the colors, the lights, the fireworks, the characters. How can anyone not be happy at that place? Impossible, I say. Even with the long lines to ride the rides (45 minute wait, during the daylight hours for just about every ride), the even longer line to see Princess Belle and Princess Tiana, the crowds, the tired feet, the whining of how hungry they were, applying sunscreen every couple of hours so our kids didn't look like little red lobsters, the sweat dripping down my back from carrying the backpack, the umpteen potty breaks, the blisters, and on and on, every last second was worth it.

Every. last. second.

The kids were champs, despite Caroline's meltdown on day #2 when she had to use the men's room because I was on a ride with Owen and my mom, Adam had to take her into the men's room, which was soooooo not appreciated by that little girl. The frustration that Adam experienced in those brief moments will not soon be forgotten. Flopping on the floor, screaming, crying, hysteria, tears...yep, it was a doozy. Glad it happened on his watch and not mine.



Owen's disappointment came when he realized he was 1/2" too short to ride California Screamin' - maybe next time buddy.

But, through it all and that being the only meltdown, the kids were fantastic. We left the happiest place on earth wanting to go back again. And that, my friends, makes me the happiest mom on earth!

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Week 10 - Building Memories & Making Plans

I have been planning for years to take Owen to Disneyland when he turned 5. I procrastinated going 'til he was 5. I would have loved, loved, loved to taken him before, but knew he would get as much out of it as if he were 5 and would remember the rides and what fun it is to go.

So, we went. We went for our prison break......er, spring break out of here. It felt so good to not be on any type of schedule, to sleep in late, stay up even later and just be - dare I say it - lazy. It was fab-u-lous!!! Don't get me wrong, we were busy the whole week of spring break, but it wasn't a "scheduled busy" it was a "nothing-to-do-today-busy".

Tuesday we left my parents' house bright and early to get to Disneyland at a reasonable hour of, say, 840 am, 40 minutes AFTER the park opened. We left to check into our hotel around 330, grabbed some dinner, changed into slightly warmer clothes, and headed back to the park. We got back to our hotel room and into bed at 1245AM! All the while kids were squealing with delight about being at Disneyland.

Howie kept saying, "Mickey!' "Mickey!" "Mickey!" Caroline was anxious to see the princesses (I wasn't so happy about waiting an hour plus in line for the 45 seconds combined to see the two lovely ladies) - she thought it was a little slice of heaven. Owen couldn't get enough of getting onto every ride he was tall enough to get onto - and there were plenty of those around.

Adam and I sucked up every ounce of wanting to sit and catch a break, not push a stroller, carry a backpack and not wait in long 50 minute lines for a 45 second ride. We did it all....every last ride we could possibly go on...we did it.

Tower of Terror...check.

Soarin over California...check

California Screamin...check

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride...check

Tea Cups...check

Mickey Ferris Wheel...check (which I'm deathly afraid of ferris wheels, but did it anyway!)

World of Color show...check

Buzz Lightyear...check

Autotopia...check

It's a Small World...check

Pirates...check

And the list goes on.

We covered just about every square inch of that park that was remotely humanly possible in two days with three small kids. Owen walked and walked and walked and never complained about not getting a ride in a stroller. We strollered Caroline for a majority of the time at the park, just because it made getting around easier and faster. Howie wanted to be out of the stroller and walking around. No way. No how. He rode most of the time, except when he was standing in line waiting to go on a ride that was his size.

One meltdown from Caroline on the second day, 3 tired kids, 2 worn out parents, 1 worn out grandma (she walked the entire second day pushing strollers, standing in lines, going on rides, she did it all - thanks Mom!!!) and so many memories made.

Owen and Caroline are still talking about Disneyland and asking when we can go back, what their favorite ride was, if I can go on a certain ride with them next time. They are making big plans.

But, without the memories of the fun we had, there would be no big plans to be made. I'm grateful we were able to take our kids to Disneyland and have them build these memories and make these plans. It was seeing the three kiddos with their arms wrapped around their souvenirs that spoke volumes to me. I'd do it again .... in a heartbeat!

Howie with his "regular" Mickey.

Caroline with her Princess Minnie.

Owen with his Goofy.