Getting Red-Educated

About 2 years ago I took a Psychology class online in hopes of continuing my education that could get me just one step closer to realizing a new dream of mine - to become a nurse. My undergrad degree is in nothing even close to be related to nursing so I have to go back to school and get red-educated on a lot of things.

Approximately 18 months ago I registered for a Chemistry class and lab as the next step in this nursing progression. At the time, I just didn't think I was going to be able to do it, so I dropped the class. Four weeks later, I got pregnant with Howie. Looking back, I realize why I had those feelings that I wasn't going to be able to handle it. I was sick, grumpy, tired and really in no frame of mind to be able to handle going back to school, let alone taking a Chemistry class and lab, regardless of how much help my brother (who got his PhD in Chemistry) would have been.

Now that Howie is 7 1/2 months old, Adam has survived 2 layoffs at his place of employment, mandatory furloughs, and having his pay reduced involuntarily by 10%, it was a wake up call for both of us, mainly me, about my re-education. What really opened my eyes were the 2 survivals of layoffs. I was anxious, a ball of nerves, frustration and worry. I wasn't pleasant to be around not knowing if Adam was still going to have a job. Then, I was left to wondering and worrying if I was prepared enough to pick up the slack, if needs be, to find a job to help provide for our family. I applied for jobs here and there in many different places for all kinds of shifts, just to help make up for the reduced income. Nothing, zip, zero, nada came my way. Not even phone calls, letters, or an e-mail. I got bupkiss.

I've learned lessons over the years, the hard way. One of those lessons is that the harder I push for what I want and what I think I need at the moment, it very rarely has a way of working out. Once again, I learned that lesson with these jobs that I was applying for. I knew it wasn't right for me to be going back to work and that everything would be okay, regardless of whether or not Adam got laid off. I knew (and know) that, as promised in my Patriarchal Blessing, that if I am honest with the Lord, He will bless me and my family with enough to provide for my family. So, I put my shaky, anxiety-ridden faith in Him and held on for the journey He has me on.

With the desire to return to school and the need to better prepare myself and our family for a better future, I asked Adam if there would be any money leftover so I could go back to school and pursue this dream of mine in becoming a nurse. He graciously and unselfishly said, "Yes. You register for the classes and we'll find the money."

Yesterday, I went to the local community college where I will be taking the nursing pre-requisite courses, to inquire of just how many I will need to take before I can apply for the program. I spoke to an adviser and after about 45 minutes walked out of there even more determined than when I went in to get this degree done. When I walked in, I thought I would need to take about 4 or 5 classes before I could apply. When I walked out of the little meeting, armed with all of the information, I will only need 2 classes - if I want to jump in "flat footed" and not having been in school for the last 13 years - or 3 if I want to take a refresher Biology class before I can apply for the program. In total, I will only need to take 5 classes and one exemption test and I will be waiting to do the clinical work!!!!

I'll take the 3 pre-requisite classes, apply for the program (which there's about an 18 month waiting period before the clinicals start) and then take the remaining 2 classes while I'm waiting. Once I am "in" then the 18 months starts to tick off. Assuming I can get into all of the classes that I need (I'm currently on a wait list for the Biology refresher course), then I will be able to apply for the program one year from this May. That means that by the time Howie is 3 1/2 i will be starting the clinical work, which I believe is just a mere 6 months. So, by the time he is 4, Caroline will be 6 and Owen will be 7, I will be working as a nurse. I want to work at night so Adam can stay home with the kids. At the risk of sounding even wierder and stranger, I want to work in the ER. I want to see the gore, blood, guts, and trauma of an ER. I have always loved and even thrived on the fast-paced, high pressure atmosphere that an ER would provide. Yes, I know there are the typical "revolving door" patients, and that the ER can be either feast or famine, but that's ok. Eventually, and many years down the road, I'd love to be a life flight nurse. THAT is my ultimate goal.

I know the best laid plans usually never work out that way and there's always something to get in the way. But, I figure it's better to have some sort of plan, than to have nothing at all.