Week #13 - The Joys of Reading

When I was figuring out how I was going to teach Owen to read, I consulted many sources. The three main sources of whose opinions I valued the most were my two sisters and one sister-in-law, all of whom had used this book. They swore by it and said they wouldn't use any other. I read reviews online and it got some good ones. I decided to give it a whirl and ordered my copy of this book. But, being the skeptic that I can be sometimes, still had my doubts.

Am I ever so glad I did order this book AND listen to my sisters. I love this book!!! It is simple to follow; simple to understand; simple to use; simple for the parent and child alike. Sixty-two lessons ago, Owen started this book. He is now reading this book as well as other very simple books. In fact, the other night when Adam was home, Owen read the book "Goodnight Moon" to Adam.

There have been some serious frustrations on my part in teaching Owen to read. I'm sure he has experienced them as well. There were some lessons where it felt like we were going 1 step forward, 3 steps back. A 20 minute once a day lesson was turning into an hour lesson once a day. It became a source of struggle, conflict, contention and bad feelings between the both of us. He was dreading the reading time and, frankly, so was I.

I tried explaining to Owen how important it was that he learned to read. I said to him, "Reading is the key to freedom. If you can read, you can learn to do anything." I got the glazed-over, what-in-the-world-is-she-talking-about look. He said he understood but still, the frustration, anxiety and uncertainty lingered.

I finally sent up the flare and white flag in surrender and told Adam he had to do it. I was done! I couldn't take it anymore. No matter what I tried, he just didn't seem to understand. So, the infinitely more patient parent that I, sat down quietly with Owen and got him over the humps of frustration and insecurities (to which there are LOTS!). Slowly, ever so slowly, Owen began to understand the joys of reading.

When he and Adam would finish a lesson with the story at the end, Owen giddy with excitement and pride would run to find me clutching the book. He would flip open the page to his lesson and read me the short story at the end. It wasn't much, but the ego boosting and confidence was returning to this sweet child.

Having completed yet another lesson in this book, I am so incredibly grateful that Owen is discovering that he really can do something (after large amounts of ego stroking and "you can do its") and seeing his confidence bloom over discovering the joys of reading is all worth it to this proud mom!

"To Hear My Soul's Complaint"

Ever since the first of the year, each Sunday Owen would come home and say, "Mom can we read scriptures tonight?" "Of course we can" would be my reply and then, well, it never seemed to happen. I rationalized it by telling myself, "they won't understand 'em anyway"; "they're too young and won't sit still"; "it's just one more thing to add to the nightly routine, do I really want to do this?"

Until this last week, that is. Adam had left for Kansas for the second week in a row (with the third one coming up on Sunday's depature). After we had all dried our tears (some more than others) at seeing Daddy drive off, came the usual question from Owen, "Mom, can we read scriptures tonight?" "Yes, we can." I didn't think it would actually happen.

Afterall, being a "married but single mom" these days, I just didn't see how it was going to work. Bedtime routines take a minimum of 30 minutes longer when I am by myself. Regardless of starting them 30 minutes earlier, the kids always seem to be in bed 45 minutes past their usual bedtime. I am so exhausted by the time they go to bed I just want to collapse. But, there's the laundry to fold (forget putting it away), loads to transfer from the machines, dishes to be done, toys to be picked up (that were "forgotten" before the littles went to bed) and, oh yeah, don't forget studying to be done.

BUT WE DID IT!!!

This was a HUGE deal for all of us. I figured keeping them up a few extra minutes isn't going to hurt them and whatever I needed to get done, was going to be there whether I read them the scriptures or not. I flipped open the scriptures and we dived in. They even wanted me to read 2 chapters to them. So I did. Why stop a good thing, right? Two chapters into our first reading as a family of the Book of Mormon, and things were going well.

I am happy to report that we have read everyday this week, and are even a few chapters ahead of the usual "one chapter a day" routine. I didn't realize how much this was going to impact me until tonight's reading. I was reading 1Ne 9:6, where it reads:

"But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words."

I got choked up at those words when I was reading them. A little while before this, Adam had come into the office asking me, what was the matter. It was a simple and innocent enough question. I don't think he was ready for the torrential downpour of tears that followed. I poured out my heartaches to him and wondering how was I going to get "everything" done all the while being overwhelmed and stressed with his impending depature again on Sunday, and trying to be a good (I'll settle for decent at this point) mom to the kids.

When those words were read in my head, but more importantly in my heart, I was reminded again that I don't have to wonder how it will all get done or, if it will all get done. I am doing what is being asked of me, by Him. I hadn't said a prayer out loud regarding these things - there's just too much to be grateful for and other things of concern. But these thoughts have been deep down in my soul and in my heart for weeks, maybe even months, now.

Despite my uneasy feelings and feelings of doubt, He knew and was there "to hear my soul's complaint" and to answer it with the quiet reassurance that I needed at that moment.

Week #12 - All Things Cool

Have I told you how much I HATE the heat? I do, like A LOT! I would rather be frozen solid than be hot and sweaty (except for when I'm exercising). The feeling of sweat rolling down my back as I am standing in the shade is just so not appealing to me. I loathe the summer time around here, especially September. That has to be the worst month of the whole year. In the rest of the country, September is a sign that fall is coming and with that it will bring cooler temps. Not the case here in the Valley of the Sun. It doesn't really start to cool off until oh, mid-October.

Why is it that I live in a state that averages 100+ degrees ALL SUMMER LONG? Plus, the high heat brings out all kinds of creepy crawlies that I despise, like roaches, scorpions, crickets, cicadas. (That is almost the first question to Heavenly Father when I see him again; "What's with the scorpions and mosquitoes? Are they really necessary?") I miss the seasons, the four seasons of winter, spring, summer, fall. Here it's just jeans and shorts seasons- nothing really in between. Sometimes I don't know why I live here either.

Oh, there is the small and simple fact that my family lives here and, really minus the summer time heat, September, and the creepy crawlies, I do absolutely love it here! I think it is the perfect place to raise a family.

My whole heat v. cold reasoning is this: there are only so many layers one can take off before there are well, no more layers to take off. Jumping in the swimming pool will in fact cool you off, BUT as soon as you get out you start air drying and will be dry and hot and sweaty in a matter of minutes. Not too mention when the pool water gets too warm, it's really not very refreshing and is too warm for swimming. When it's cooler outside, the layers can just be added to keep warm. Blankets, jackets, mittens, gloves, hats, fires, snuggling with the ones you love. It all adds to the heat and the warmth.

This past week gave me the chance to remember just what is inevitable in just a matter of a few short weeks.....the dreaded summer heat. Temperatures reached almost 100 degrees. I about melted and then died.

This week made me incredibly grateful for all things cool - like ice cream, popsicles, ice water, a cold Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper, but especially the A/C. There are some who have been here for decades and have learned to live without A/C - like my grandmother. That lady is one strong lady. She has lived here for too many decades to count now, raised 4 children here, still lives in the same house as having raised those children all without A/C. She just has a swamp cooler. I don't know how she does it. I could never survive in conditions like that - trust me.

I took her advice though. Why suffer when you can do something about it. I turned on my A/C this past week. I loved the feeling of cool air on my skin. I won't love the electric bill when I see it. But, it will leave me with the feelings of gratitude and gratefulness for all things cool.

Now, excuse me while I go and turn down the thermostat to make it even colder in my house and find my Diet Coke to sip.

A Little Help Here, Please?

My nephew, Jared, is a great young man. I'm not just saying this because he is my nephew or because I may be slightly biased. It is the honest to goodness truth! He's an awesome student (straight A's), National Honor Society, on the varsity swim team - since being a freshman - for Queen Creek H.S. (Go Bulldog's!), and now he can add one more accolade to his resume....EAGLE SCOUT! He's kind, considerate of others and their feelings, funny, practical, good looking and will make some young lady very happy one day. One day in the very distant future.

From the time the eagle project was conceptualized to the day it was completed was five (5) days. Yes, you read that correctly, 5 whole days! Wednesday the call was placed to the principal at the school, Thursday it was approved, Saturday the plants and other supplies were purchased, today the project was commenced and completed. It was amazing that it happened just that quickly and with over 50 people there to help him on such short notice!

I, of course being the dutiful aunt that I am, was there to support him, help him and be the "historian" of the project. I was there with my camera, kids, and willingness and snapped away. 170 pictures snapped away to be exact! The kids dug a few holes, scratched away some rock, collected the disposable flower pots and then played and played and played on the school's playground while the rest of the crew finished up the plants and repainted and numbered the hopscoth paths.

There were oodles of teeangers around. It was fun for me to get a glimpse of what my life is going to be like in just a short 8 years. No, I'm not rushing it along - but fun to see. It was a hoot to see these big teenage boys handling these delicate little flowers, place them ever so gently into the soil and then make sure they are planted just right. Oh some of the ironies of life. In any event, it was a job well done and there was a lot of hard work that went into getting this project completed. He needed the help, asked for the help and received the help.

The principal was saying today that since last Wednesday, when Jared got his project off the ground, she has received two more telephone calls from scouts looking for eagle projects to do, including one today! She promised the two other boys that there was plenty for them to do and she would be contacting them soon to get them an eagle project.

I am so very proud of Jared and will offer him help any day of the week. All he has to say is, "a little help here, please!"

Week #11 - The Simple Things - The Basics

There weren't any fancy vacations this week. There weren't any earth shattering moments. Nor, were there any noteworthy moments. It was just the simple things - the basics that kept me going.

An established routine.

A husband who was home.

Three kids who slept through the night.

Going to the gym/running outside.

Having lunch with my sister-in-law.

Adam teaching Owen the rules of football.

The arguing and bickering between the kids.

Piles of laundry to do.

Bathrooms to clean.

Homework to be done.

You know, the basics. For that I am grateful. Life gets crazy enough with all of the ups, downs and in-betweens. So, when the simple things - the basics come along, I love it and find myself wishing it happened more and more.

'Tis not so for this coming week. I hope I have the stamina to survive the craziness ahead of me all the while wishing/wanting/longing for the simple things - the basics.

Musical Rooms Means End of an Era & Mixed Emotions

I loved this house when we first walked into it. It has 4 bedrooms. I had great plans the instant we walked through as to what all 4 bedrooms would one day become.

That day has finally happened and I don't know how I quite feel about it - still. Before venturing off to California, one of the projects at hand was to move Howie into Owen's room. This meant that my two boys would be officially - and finally - sharing a room.

My baby, my little Howie is ready to sleep in a twin sized bed? Really?! Didn't I just give birth to him? Could this really be happening?

The night before we moved him into "the boys' room", I opened the door and watched him sleeping so peacefully in the crib. I started to cry (just like I am now at the memory of him sleeping in his crib). It hit me hard in that instant that there would no longer be any more babies in our home. No more of OUR babies in our home, in our crib, in the room set up for the babies 4 plus years ago when we moved in. We officially ended the "baby era".

When Adam took the crib down, that's when I really cried. I thought back to the day when I was 7 months pregnant with Owen and Adam and his dad put the crib together in the living room of our house in Mesa. Not realizing it would be 1 inch too wide to fit through the doorway, only to have Adam take it apart and reassemble it in the room we would bring Owen home to.

We struggled and struggled with infertility. IUI's, IVF, doctor appointment after doctor appointment, injections, drugs, we did it all. It took us 4 years 'til I got pregnant with Owen. And then, POOF! The baby era is gone in a heartbeat. I can't believe it has gone by that quickly and that stage is over in our family.

With the end of this era, moving Howie around, it also meant I would be getting an office/craft room. That had always been the ultimate outlook of this room, but it brings about a lot of mixed emotions. I am teary-eyed over the end of the era, but overjoyed and thrilled that I can finally have an office, study in peace and quiet and best of all work on my projects in my own room. If I can't finish the projects right then, I can close the door and come back to it at a later point. I no longer have to clean up my project, or move it to a different location in the house, threaten the kids with bodily harm if they dare to even breathe on it. A simple lock of the doorknob and closing of the door will be all it takes to keep my projects safe.

Now, if only I can see through the tears to be able to work on those projects.

Happiest Place & Mom on Earth

After much planning and figuring, we took the kiddos to Disneyland. Most of it was to celebrate Owen's 5th birthday as a family - together. All of the kids had so much fun. I was giddy with excitement for weeks leading up to the eventful days. I knew they would be excited to go on the rides, see the princesses, see Mickey and just plain be at Disneyland.

One night at dinner, the kids asked when we would be traveling back to California. Adam and I hadn't told them we were going to Disneyland. We wanted to surprise them and have that surprise be as close as we could get it to the actual departure and trip to California. Reasoning aside, I told them we would be going in a couple of weeks. The rest of the conversation went a little something like this:

Owen: " Are we going to the beach?"
Me: "No. Not this trip. Probably the trip after this one we can go to the beach."
Owen: " Then why are we going to California?"

I looked at Adam at this point and asked if we should tell them what we were doing. He didn't care, so I told them about their surprise.

Me: "Well......... we are going to.......DISNEYLAND!"
Owen: "Caroline, we are going to Disneyland!"

The kids began to squeal with glee and excitement at the thought of going to D-land. Adam asked Caroline if she knew what that meant. Through he gleeful squeals, she yells, "NO!"

Adam and I busted out laughing. Not a clue as to what it meant, but she figured it had to be good. And boy was it!

It really is, THE happiest place on Earth. The music, the colors, the lights, the fireworks, the characters. How can anyone not be happy at that place? Impossible, I say. Even with the long lines to ride the rides (45 minute wait, during the daylight hours for just about every ride), the even longer line to see Princess Belle and Princess Tiana, the crowds, the tired feet, the whining of how hungry they were, applying sunscreen every couple of hours so our kids didn't look like little red lobsters, the sweat dripping down my back from carrying the backpack, the umpteen potty breaks, the blisters, and on and on, every last second was worth it.

Every. last. second.

The kids were champs, despite Caroline's meltdown on day #2 when she had to use the men's room because I was on a ride with Owen and my mom, Adam had to take her into the men's room, which was soooooo not appreciated by that little girl. The frustration that Adam experienced in those brief moments will not soon be forgotten. Flopping on the floor, screaming, crying, hysteria, tears...yep, it was a doozy. Glad it happened on his watch and not mine.



Owen's disappointment came when he realized he was 1/2" too short to ride California Screamin' - maybe next time buddy.

But, through it all and that being the only meltdown, the kids were fantastic. We left the happiest place on earth wanting to go back again. And that, my friends, makes me the happiest mom on earth!

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Week 10 - Building Memories & Making Plans

I have been planning for years to take Owen to Disneyland when he turned 5. I procrastinated going 'til he was 5. I would have loved, loved, loved to taken him before, but knew he would get as much out of it as if he were 5 and would remember the rides and what fun it is to go.

So, we went. We went for our prison break......er, spring break out of here. It felt so good to not be on any type of schedule, to sleep in late, stay up even later and just be - dare I say it - lazy. It was fab-u-lous!!! Don't get me wrong, we were busy the whole week of spring break, but it wasn't a "scheduled busy" it was a "nothing-to-do-today-busy".

Tuesday we left my parents' house bright and early to get to Disneyland at a reasonable hour of, say, 840 am, 40 minutes AFTER the park opened. We left to check into our hotel around 330, grabbed some dinner, changed into slightly warmer clothes, and headed back to the park. We got back to our hotel room and into bed at 1245AM! All the while kids were squealing with delight about being at Disneyland.

Howie kept saying, "Mickey!' "Mickey!" "Mickey!" Caroline was anxious to see the princesses (I wasn't so happy about waiting an hour plus in line for the 45 seconds combined to see the two lovely ladies) - she thought it was a little slice of heaven. Owen couldn't get enough of getting onto every ride he was tall enough to get onto - and there were plenty of those around.

Adam and I sucked up every ounce of wanting to sit and catch a break, not push a stroller, carry a backpack and not wait in long 50 minute lines for a 45 second ride. We did it all....every last ride we could possibly go on...we did it.

Tower of Terror...check.

Soarin over California...check

California Screamin...check

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride...check

Tea Cups...check

Mickey Ferris Wheel...check (which I'm deathly afraid of ferris wheels, but did it anyway!)

World of Color show...check

Buzz Lightyear...check

Autotopia...check

It's a Small World...check

Pirates...check

And the list goes on.

We covered just about every square inch of that park that was remotely humanly possible in two days with three small kids. Owen walked and walked and walked and never complained about not getting a ride in a stroller. We strollered Caroline for a majority of the time at the park, just because it made getting around easier and faster. Howie wanted to be out of the stroller and walking around. No way. No how. He rode most of the time, except when he was standing in line waiting to go on a ride that was his size.

One meltdown from Caroline on the second day, 3 tired kids, 2 worn out parents, 1 worn out grandma (she walked the entire second day pushing strollers, standing in lines, going on rides, she did it all - thanks Mom!!!) and so many memories made.

Owen and Caroline are still talking about Disneyland and asking when we can go back, what their favorite ride was, if I can go on a certain ride with them next time. They are making big plans.

But, without the memories of the fun we had, there would be no big plans to be made. I'm grateful we were able to take our kids to Disneyland and have them build these memories and make these plans. It was seeing the three kiddos with their arms wrapped around their souvenirs that spoke volumes to me. I'd do it again .... in a heartbeat!

Howie with his "regular" Mickey.

Caroline with her Princess Minnie.

Owen with his Goofy.

Week 9 - A Small Prayer Sprinkled With Hope

This week was absolutely crazy! I was participating in The Savvy Sale, had a chemistry final exam, an Anatomy & Physiology exam and lab practical, was packing for our trip to California for spring break, cleaning a house, yadda, yadda, yadda.

In the midst of trying to do it all, wondering how I was going to get it all done, praying silently that I would somehow get some sort of help, hoping my pleas would be heard, my very helpful visiting teacher called and left a message on my answering machine. It went a little something like this:

Her: "Hey Janet. I know you are super busy this week and have a lot going on. I was wondering if I could bring you dinner tonight. Give me a call please."

I called her back telling her that Adam is in town this week and he is perfectly capable of making dinner for us while I run around attempting to get done what needs to be done. Her sweet reply was, "well, I know that. But, if it will help you out, then I am more than happy to bring you dinner."

Not only would it help me out, it would be one less thing for me to think about or worry about. Yes, my darling you may bring me dinner and help me. So, it was a small prayer sprinkled with a tiny bit of hope that I would, in fact, get some help. And, I did.

I certainly did....and, just in the nick of time.

It was a reaffirmation to me that my prayers, how ever small or insignificant they may seem, are not at all to our Heavenly Father who hears every prayer, plea, and hope of our heart. I am also grateful for this visiting teacher and her willingness to listen to the impressions she was receiving in order to help little 'ole me.

Week 8 - Family..It's All That Matters

We all get busy and involved in our own family's lives, events, schedules, happenings, etc. So much so that we sometimes get too busy to see family that lives just 2 miles down the road, or 12 miles from your house, or when one family member works just 3 miles up the road from your house. Yep, that's me and my family.

My eldest brother, Scott, and his family live just 2 miles from me. I tend to see Karina, Scott's wife, and their youngest child, Agnes, the most as Owen and Agnes go to the same preschool. My sister, Jenny, and her family live just 12 miles from me and she works at a hospital just 3 miles away. Yet, somehow we don't see each other....enough. Sometimes there are weeks or even months that have gone by when we haven't seen one another. We decided to put an end to that.

About 2 years ago, we decided that it wasn't too much to ask of all of us to get together for dinner once a month, like Fast Sunday. It isn't really asking too much, right?

RIGHT!

Today was my turn to host Sunday dinner. When we all were here, it made me really grateful for my family that lives so close to me and that I could see on almost a daily basis if I wanted to. I love seeing the different stages in the kids that are together when the 3 families get together. We have everything, and I mean everything, there. The oldest "kid" is 16 - almost 17 - and the youngest, well that would be Howie. There is everything in between.

One of the best things about having all of these different stages, for me, is that I have two GREAT resources that I can bounce ideas off of when it comes to things that my children are doing and how to handle them. I've learned A LOT from these two great sisters of mine, especially when it comes to raising kids. I am reminded by their examples to me that I really am doing the best that I can. And, despite how I may feel some days, I am a good mom.

I don't like being away from my family and am pretty sure I will NEVER move from here, as long as my family lives here, I'll be here. If I ever move from here, then it's gonna have to be somewhere that my family is living. After all, family....it's all that matters!

"Mom, Do Dinosaurs Have Bones?"

Since going back to school and studying anatomy and physiology, I get all kinds of questions from the kids. It can range from "Mom, what do you call this right here?" "Mom, do we have bones in our arms (legs, hands, feet, bellies, eyes, ears)?" You name it, I've been asked if we have bones/muscles in just about every part of the body possible - literally!

On our last trip to California we needed something to do to occupy the kids and since the weather was suppose to be pretty wet and rainy (and indeed it was) we needed something to do indoors and inexpensive. I found the La Brea Tar Pits, having recalled it from all those years ago when I went during elementary school, and decided it would be perfect for the kids to see and something to do. Plus, as a huge bonus, it was really inexpensive to do - kids under 5 years old -FREE! Our entire family's admission, including parking, was $20.50. Really, in California that is a steal for entertainment. We had such a great time learning about all the bones, animals, and how the bones were perfectly preserved in tar. Yep, perfectly preserved in tar! A great educational experience and cheap entertainment, who could ask for more.

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We had such a great experience at the La Brea Tar Pits. We are truly blessed to be able to see the different creatures that once roamed this created Earth. To be able to study them, their habitats, and lives gives us a glimpse into the world that existed all those years ago. How wonderful that we can go back in time, through these skeletons, and learn more of some of Heavenly Father's creations.

I highly recommend going to the La Brea Tar Pits the next chance you get if you are going to be in California. It's an interesting place and has something for everyone. The LA County Museum of Art (LACMA) is right across the grassy area and is spectacular too. It's California, there's something for everyone, no matter where you are!

Week 7 - My Everything, My Love

I must have gotten to use to having Adam around this week. Afterall, it's been 10 whole days with him. WOW! I guess that's why tonight, when he leaves again for Kansas, it leaves me reflecting on just how grateful I am for him.

He truly is my Love and my everything. Sometimes people have asked me where I got his "pet name" Love from. I tell them it's because it reminds me that he is my one true love. It reminds me that no matter how mad I may get at him, he is the one I chose to be with and love the rest of my life and eternity. It is a reminder of something we do in this family, not just say or feel.

So, my dear Love, know that I am beyond words grateful for you and all you do for our little family. You are my everything and my Love, forever and eternity.

So not a great picture of me and the way I look, but it is the best one that conveys my gratitude for my Love.