"Behold, mine house is a house of order, saith the Lord God, and not a house of confusion." - Doctrine & Covenants 132:8
Do you have one of THOSE drawers in your kitchen/office/home where you just throw whatever you have no idea to do with those things into it? I do and right now my life feels like the junk drawer in my kitchen where everything is in complete disarray. There's no order. No rhyme. No reason. Just chaos. I don't do well with chaos. Organized chaos - yes. Chaos - no. I like things to be in their proper place. I don't care if there are several piles, as long as the piles are organized and whoever the pile(s) belongs to knows what is contained in them.
I feel like someone has come along and overturned my nice neat organized drawers, made them chaotic and then walked off. Now, I'm left to reorganize, reprioritize, rearrange, and declutter the inner drawers of my life. I don't like this feeling. It tends to make me very unsettled, unsatisfied and ungrateful. I have so much to be grateful for and satisfied with, but because of this disarray, I feel......disarrayed myself.
As I asked the kids to pick up the toys before they went to bed, I noticed that toys and the respective pieces were strewn from one end of the room to the other and beyond - in complete disarray and chaos. I've asked. I've begged. I've pleaded. Nothing seems to be working. So, much to my dismay, my inner chaos came out. I've realized that not only have things not been put away properly but, now, pieces to toys are missing. It's not about the toys. It's not even about the money spent on the toys. It's about the organization (and lack thereof) that bothers me. I don't want to spend my time looking for pieces when kids want to play with their toys and they ask me to help them find the missing pieces. I want to play with them and their toys.
I'm trying really hard. Really I am. I don't expect perfection. I don't expect everything to be completely smooth from one day to the next; or, even from one hour to the next in the same day! I don't expect sunshine and lollipops everyday or even every other day. But, to just give me organized chaos, rather than just plain chaos and I can function. I can make order out of organized chaos. I just can't do it out of chaos.
Maybe, just maybe, one day mine too will be a house of order and not confusion/chaos/disarray.
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